To say that I've been through a LOT in my life is an understatement! But I have gotten through and I am so very grateful.
With each situation I have learned, grown, experienced!
It took me many years to decide to take this next step. I have fought with myself, I have tried this, that and the other in order to avoid this. But, as with all things you reach a point that if you are not achieving your goals and you need help, you explore options.
Genetics are a bitch! I'm sure I'm not the only one to feel this way - am I?
Much of my family are extremely overweight and growing up I thought there was NO way I was going to be the same. I was very active in sports and had always seemed to easily lose any weight I gained!
Of course, in High School I thought I was FAT - I questioned every friend I had IF I was fat? Why? Well... compared to many of my classmates I felt like a porker! I was about 125lbs and being only 5'4" I thought I was a fat ass! Boy do I miss THOSE days!
At 19 I got pregnant with my first son, gained about 50lbs [I admit I ate horribly]. 50lbs!!! And he only weighed 5lbs 8ozs [tiny lil thing he was - he is still so thin, but healthy - doesn't have MY genetics YET].
I had lost MOST of the weight I gained from baby #1 when I got pregnant with son #2 [there is just over 17 months between the 2 boys]. I didn't gain too much - not even 20lbs and lost all of it when & after he was born - he weighed 6lbs 8ozs [another tiny guy but healthy]
Son #3 was born 2 months & almost 1 month later - I gained sooooooo much weight with him - my ex was calling me "Bubba" [nice, right?]
The Evil Princess was born exactly 14 months later - I hadn't lost any weight from Son #3 and gained even more weight. This was NOT cool!
Oh and... the day I had Evil Princess I had my tubes tied [I couldn't continue to pop babies out & gaining weight like this].
The struggle to lose weight began shortly after we moved into our home [almost 1 year after Evil Princess was born]. I tried exercise, diet pills [prescribed & over the counter], Weight Watchers, Richard Simmons, Susan Powder, more diet pills and more diets! The one I had a brief success with was Atkins - lost 25lbs in 1 month - that was killed by a BROWNIE [not just any brownie, but an amazing OMG brownie! oh and a mixed drink - damn those candle parties!!!]. I've since tried going back on Atkins but can't seem to get past the first week :(
And this has been the cycle for the past 17 years now...
I had heard many people I know had weight loss surgery years before but I thought it would be cheating or the easy way out.
Oh & in those years I've also had my gall bladder removed [it stopped functioning], 3 partial hysterectomies over the course of a year, and an office procedure [endometrium cells needed to be removed], was hospitalized for depression [ok ok... I admitted myself after a suicide attempt]
But it was last year when I was hospitalized twice within a month - fluid on my spine, oh and add an infection on the spine as well, that had me reconsider weight loss surgery.
After talking it over with my husband, I started my research. I was having a hard time finding a Dr to actually speak with - oh sure there was lots of information online but I wanted to actually ASK the questions to a professional and not just someone online via a "chat box"
There was a website... n y bariatric - I asked them questions via email, was invited to an online seminar and started the process [it felt very impersonal but I was feeling worse health wise and I NEEDED help]
They were a bit far from where I was living but had told me that my insurance WOULD cover the surgery, but I had to get a referral from my primary care Dr. I scheduled the appt right away!
While at my primary care, Robin [she does the referrals at my Dr's office] told me that she knew of other Drs that were MUCH closer and who she heard had amazing reputations! She made a couple of recommendations and finally the name that stuck out was Dr. Braithwaite [heard that name years ago]. I called to schedule an appt but was told I had to attend a seminar first and lucky for me that there was one coming up within the week.
Husband in tow [he had questions too], we went to the seminar and all the lingering questions we had were answered that night - I made an appt for 3 weeks later [that was the soonest].
My first appointment was being bounced from one nurse, to a nurse practitioner, to a social worker, to a nutritionist, to the Dr - I thought I was only going to be an hour but ended up there a few hours. So much information thrown at me but they were all GREAT and assured me that if I had questions I could ask anytime :)
The months to follow I had gone to a Cardiologist, Gastroentrologist, Pulmonologist, test after test after test. Oh and my insurance requires 6 months of supervised weights - so I have been to my primary care every month to be weighed.
I started eating healthier [for the most part] but the worst part is getting on that scale and seeing that you GAIN weight!! Talk about depressing - BLAH! I've cried just about every month after stepping on that damn scale
Here I am and I have just over a month to go for the surgery and in just a couple of weeks I begin a liquid diet [did I mention how lucky I am for that???] - I think those weeks are going to be the roughest, especially since at my full time job there is a Friday tradition of Bubba's Burrito Bar [pouting already]
My goal is to get damn near close to my PRE baby weight.... Wish me luck! I will keep you posted as I go along
