A simple and innocent question...

Being asked what are you doing for your birthday shouldn't bring you to the edge of tears!

Then WHY did it?

Well...

I KNOW my worth and I KNOW that I should be treated so much better than I am. And it's not happening.

My birthday is just another day to people that I should be considered important or at least special to.  This fact hurts.

I'll get over it. Just had to vent

Turning Turning Turning

It's funny... I decide to do things to improve my life and circumstances,  I take steps forward, and I start to see the effects of just being happy first. But then a few hours later, I get a HUGE amount of crap!

Yeah, I create my reality.  Just ASK, BELIEVE & ALLOW I'm told.

I'm doing my BEST is all I'm going to say at this point.

I was going to write about whats going on but decided that I don't want to put the negative out there, my focus is the POSITIVE

Brightest Blessings

Reiki

What is Reiki

The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words - Rei which means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki which is "life force energy".

So Reiki is actually "spiritually guided life force energy."

A treatment feels like a wonderful glowing radiance that flows through and around you. Reiki treats the whole person including body, emotions, mind and spirit creating many beneficial effects that include relaxation and feelings of peace, security and wellbeing. Many have reported miraculous results.

Reiki is a simple, natural and safe method of spiritual healing and self-improvement that everyone can use. It has been effective in helping virtually every known illness and malady and always creates a beneficial effect. It also works in conjunction with all other medical or therapeutic techniques to relieve side effects and promote recovery.

 

Did you know that animals love and benefit from Reiki?  Indeed they do. 

Reiki is ideal for use with animals because it is gentle, noninvasive and doesn't require physical contact. It doesn't cause stress, discomfort, or pain, and yet yields powerful results. Animals respond intuitively to Reiki's power to support the healing of emotional, behavioral, and physical illnesses and injuries.

For animals who are healthy, Reiki helps to maintain their health, enhances relaxation and provides an emotional sense of peace and contentment.

For animals who are ill, Reiki is a wonderful healing method as well as a safe complement to Western Medicine, Chinese Medicine, homeopathy, flower essences, and all other forms of healing. For example, Reiki can reduce the side effects of chemotherapy, support an acupuncture treatment, and complement the effects of flower essences.

For dying animals, Reiki is a powerful yet gentle way to provide comfort, relief from pain, fear, and anxiety, and to ease the transition to death. Reiki is also a wonderful way to support a dying animal's family.

 

As you can see.... Reiki is beneficial for everyone

Mish mash of thoughts

So many thoughts run through my mind and I'm not sure which to focus upon....

maybe tomorrow I can get somewhere with sorting them out, as for tonight, i need sleep. Tomorrow will be an early and long day

Tonight, Tomorrow Morning and Tomorrow Night

Lets see how I can learn from this...
Well, I need to move forward instead of being stagnant and uncertain of myself.  Time to be bold

Gratitude...

Each and every day I am grateful for so many things.  I TRY to say OUTLOUD each day for at least a few things that I'm grateful for, but I admitt that I do miss days where I make it quite known. 

Today I am going to list a bunch of things/people that I'm grateful for.  Why?  Because I am me and I am so very grateful!
Please note, that it is a given that I am VERY grateful for the health, happiness, wisdom of those in my life [while I may not type it out below, it certainly is running rampant in my mind]

1. The Universe -- it guides me to where I need to be
2. My Husband, Reynaldo -- for so many reasons
3. My Children, Craig, Cory, Christopher & Courtney -- I am blessed to have given birth to such wonderful individuals [even when they try my patience]
4. My Grandson, Jacob -- I haven't gotten to see him in quite some time but he is always on my mind
5. My Dogs, Chilli, Ricco & Maya -- wildly entertaining, always loving, they don't judge me when I'm being weird [aka ME]
6. Carolann -- there are many reasons...
7. My Job and MOST of My Co-workers -- I am fortunate to have a job when so many don't.  And I also get to be ME at my job... BONUS!!!
1. The self reserve to not throw something heavy or sharp at a particular co-worker that just gets under my skin [not in a good way!!  Think.... slimy, prick type way]
2. Some super nice clients, and 1 in particular today.... yummy yummy oranges sent from Florida :)
8. Jacob's Mommy, Nikki -- without her, I wouldn't have the sunshine of my life.
1. Also for the other amazing gift she gave me this week! 
9. My Ex-husband, Craig -- 2 amazing sons and being there for our sons the best you can...
10. My Ex-husband, Carl -- 1 amazing son and 1 amazing daughter, thank you for them!
11. The Many Wonderful People that are in my life -- each of you have had or are having an effect on my life, each and every day. 
12. The Gentleman that sold my husband my cauldron, tea kettle and brooms for a wonderful deal
13. My Car -- it gets me everywhere I need / want to go without incident.  And the fact that I have a car is a blessing.
14. My Apartment & Landlord -- allows us to have our dogs, a nice [albeit small] place to live with a horse [Patrick] in the backyard.
15. For the wonders of life, the trees, flowers, clouds, rain, snow, rainbows, animals, oceans, ponds, etc etc... just so much to list
16. All the money that I have been given throughout my life. 
17. I am grateful for all that I have and shall receive... Life is beautiful

There are MANY MANY more things and people that are such a HUGE part of my life and each and every day I am GRATEFUL

How

When you need something right now but just aren't getting it, you ask yourself HOW do I get it right when I need it.
I'm trying, really I am, I just don't know what to do or how to get it here right now.

Ouchies

Swimmers ear sucks!

That is all

Its time....

I have gifts, its time I use them :)

Who are these for???

OK... so.... the other night I got the message that I should really stop doubting my abilities and go forward.  OK, I agree with that! I'm in!

Well... I guess I'm not getting a choice in the matter anymore - ya see... this morning after dropping off the husband to work, I went home and crawled into bed for a lil bit, I just wanted a tiny lil nap before mad dash shower, dress, walk dogs and out the door to work  [someone was antsy and woke me up in the middle of the night, which was difficult for me to fall back to sleep - long story short, I was TIRED]. 

WHAT was I thinking???  I closed my eyes and was quite relaxed, I was going to have an amazing mini nap!  Yeah, right!  I started getting images of people in my head [3rd eye was WIDE OPEN], my ears [although they are having some issues -- damn swimmers ear] were hearing what these people were saying.  These people were LOUD and in my face!  Telling me to make sure I tell HER [who is HER???] -- OK OK  but I don't know who she is.  You got in my face before I could see who you were talking about AND you won't back down.  This old white haired lady [hair pulled back in a short pony tail] was quite the character!  A smile that could either scare the shit out of you OR make you smile.  I did a little of both!  She disappeared before I could ask her WHAT she said again -- I needed a pen and paper to write it down.  I guess that is a lesson learned!

After she disappeared, I then got just a phone number being said over and over again!  It wouldn't stop until I made note of it.  [I'm going to call the # today and see who/what it is for]

This is going to be an interesting journey!

Journal Entry 1/23/13

10:15AM
Yeah, yeah, yeah I know... I set a goal to write every day but as life likes to hand me tons, I don't get to do it like I want!

I will continue to jot notes here and there as time permits.  For sanity sake...

Journal Entry 1/5/13

Each day I MUST remind myself that people are not necessarily on the same page as me, sometimes completely different books.
I know I need to give them time to catch up but how long should I wait?

Gggggrrrrrrr and FN Gggggrrrrrrr

I'm sick and getting worse as the day goes by (mind you, its still early) so this is making me extra crabby!
I get my paycheck handed to me - yay payday - this should make me happy! SHOULD! But nope. I look inside and see that we weren't paid for Christmas Eve - this wouldn't bother me IF I had been given the option to work (like the day after Thanksgiving) - we weren't given any choice and to not be paid when all kinds of bills are due (especially rent) just completely blows!
I am frustrated beyond frustrated!

Just want to go home and sleep! !!!

Journal Entry 1/2/13

Each and every day I work on being a better ME!  Some days are harder than others - especially when other people do things that effect me [not in a good way].

Today I am counting my blessings and researching many positive things - just so I can try and take the focus of the selfish f-heads that I deal with.

Today's Affirmation: I am worth all that I desire and then some

Journal Entry 1/1/13

So... its the 1st and I finally lost the battle to the dreaded cold that I've been avoiding! Boooo

Instead of taking on the day and accomplishing the many things I want/need to get done today, I'm laying in bed being taken care of by Rey.

With all the bitching I've been doing about how he isn't treating me the way I deserve, he is here taking care of me all day.

Is what it is... I need to work tomorrow so I need to rest and get better today.

Today's affirmation: Live in the now! Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is yet to be...