Journal Entry 1/5/13

Each day I MUST remind myself that people are not necessarily on the same page as me, sometimes completely different books.
I know I need to give them time to catch up but how long should I wait?

Gggggrrrrrrr and FN Gggggrrrrrrr

I'm sick and getting worse as the day goes by (mind you, its still early) so this is making me extra crabby!
I get my paycheck handed to me - yay payday - this should make me happy! SHOULD! But nope. I look inside and see that we weren't paid for Christmas Eve - this wouldn't bother me IF I had been given the option to work (like the day after Thanksgiving) - we weren't given any choice and to not be paid when all kinds of bills are due (especially rent) just completely blows!
I am frustrated beyond frustrated!

Just want to go home and sleep! !!!

Journal Entry 1/2/13

Each and every day I work on being a better ME!  Some days are harder than others - especially when other people do things that effect me [not in a good way].

Today I am counting my blessings and researching many positive things - just so I can try and take the focus of the selfish f-heads that I deal with.

Today's Affirmation: I am worth all that I desire and then some

Journal Entry 1/1/13

So... its the 1st and I finally lost the battle to the dreaded cold that I've been avoiding! Boooo

Instead of taking on the day and accomplishing the many things I want/need to get done today, I'm laying in bed being taken care of by Rey.

With all the bitching I've been doing about how he isn't treating me the way I deserve, he is here taking care of me all day.

Is what it is... I need to work tomorrow so I need to rest and get better today.

Today's affirmation: Live in the now! Yesterday is a memory, tomorrow is yet to be...

Time for change

Its that time of year when everyone starts making resolutions and keep them for a short time. .. yeah that's real "good"
As for me, around this time is my birthday and what I like to do is set goals for the time until the next one.
This past year has been really difficult for me and once again I've done some soul searching.  I keep coming up with the things I've discovered in the past - I know what I want and need but I'm not getting it and it is hurting me both emotionally and well... we all know emotional hurt causes physical pain.
Today I will have a talk with my husband and if he won't do what is needed to work on our relationship then we will need to figure out about going our separate ways.  I NEED to do what is necessary to be who and what I want and need to be.
Its time for change

Goals for 2013

Each year around my birthday I make goals for myself for the year ahead. So here is this year's list...

1. Write out at least 10 of my gratitudes daily
2. Be POSITIVE [even when things are not going good]
3. Journal daily
4. Meditate EVERY day and / or night
5. Daily Affirmations
6. Drink more water daily
7. Zumba/Gym - 3 - 5 times / week
8. Do hair daily
9. Do make up daily [whenever planning on leaving the house]
10. Take vitamins daily
11. Grow and maintain nails [fingers and toes]
12. Complete at least 1 book each month
13. Take more pictures [at least 1 a week]
14. Get a 2nd job [or build MY own business -- Reiki / Tarot Readings, etc...]
15. Blog [this can be the journal...]
16. Eat less sweets
17. Had surgery... so help it to help me LOSE 100lbs of excess fat!!!
18. Start working and updating website [get it making me money]
19. Cook more frequently
20. Bake more frequently
21. Take breakfast to work Mon - Fri
22. Take lunch to work Mon - Thurs
23. Living a Life of Magic [starts in March - goes for 13 months]
24. Cleanse and Consecrate at least once a month
25. Keep current on various bills:
    1. LIPA
    2. Optimum
    3. Car Payments
    4. Student Loan
    5. Cell Payments [Craigs and Ours]
    6. Chris website
    7. My website
    8. Planet Fitness
26. Pay off various bills:
    1. IRS
    2. TV [Aarons]
    3. Hospital
    4. Neurology
    5. DRs
    6. Fingerhut
    7. PayPal
    8. CapitalOne
    9. Avenue
    10. Suffolk Federal Credit Union
27. Learn:
    1. Astrology
    2. Palmistry
    3. Runes
    4. Reflexology [get certified if can afford]
    5. Something new...
28. Practice:

1. Numerology
2. Tarot Readings
3. Reiki
4. Cooking [new recipes]
5. Baking [new recipes]
6. Gardening
7. Knitting
8. Crocheting
9. Sewing
10. Zodiac
11. Reflexology

That is the list.... I feel like I'm missing something but I can always add to it!  Check in next year and see how it went with this!

Scattered

So many thoughts going through my head, so much to figure out, so much to get done, so much to remain POSITIVE & GRATEFUL for [while I feel the weight of negativity dragging me down with various situations], so so much and I'm officially on LIQUIDS ONLY now until surgery [and for a short time after].

Maybe I made a mistake in looking to become a Tupperware Consultant NOW, but no turning back -- I WILL rock this! Just need some help to get me in the right direction and I'm good to go!

I awoke today so tired [went to bed early -- was soooooooooo tired], so achy [EVERYTHING hurt] and blah but I started naming things / people that I'm grateful for and proceeded to get ready for work. Took the dogs for a brief walk before having to head off - Ricco in a very playful mood and Chilli wanting to explore every little thing in her path - sorry guys I am running late because I had a hard time dragging myself out of bed again.

Need to get my children's situations figured out... what I really need is to win LOTTO but until then I need other alternatives.

Having vented... I'm moving forward -- well... I already had moved forward but now I'm telling you that I have =)